The Other Woman.

Single or Married the other woman seems to be lurking some where. Either in the physical or your subconcious.Who is this other woman? She is the one who desperately wants what you have. Praying for a slip that will send your man flying into her arms. Honey sweet arms that will lure him into an abyss...a journey that you cannot phatom the end. Oh you other woman! Your tongue is full of sweet lies. The fiery seduction of your wanton eyes. The curves of your decietful lips, slowly provoking even the most decent of men. Your hips sashay in sinful rythms. Circling your head is the halo of sodom. Your speech a two edged sword...destined to destroy.
You, other woman! A natural born Jezebel. Thou deserves a stone thrown at you....your eyes be scratched and torn out from thy socket. But before you act, take a trip to the mirror and look deep into your own eyes and you will see...the other woman lurks in you too.

Job Politics sef!

Your qualification is one thing,your tribe, connections and maybe family name is another. These past few months have been tough for me,considering the fact that I am a young corper coming into the corporate world. My lack of working experience is minus but I never knew my name would be too.
I have been applying for numerous jobs...the competition out there is not easy but I must succeed.I finally got a chance for an interview at a Lagos based company with branches in different parts of the country (I am a Nigerian).My happiness knew no bounds,I felt that my time had come and that I was going to make the best of this oppurtunity I had,I was going to prove myself and earn respect from my family but as the saying goes "Man proposes,God disposes". My interview was very successful.I was a hundred percent sure of getting this job but just a little thing made me lose it...My surname.Did I tell you that my family name backs up some really good luxury companies in the country? Now you know! But my family name is not me...or do I say that I am "Me" not my surname? I just wanted a job like every other young corper.What makes me different from them...NOTHING! People cry of being prejudiced,not having connections et al. My cry is for people to see the real me. I am just a hustler like everyone else. Give me a chance...I need it too,I need to prove myself.

Be Royal in your Own Fashion.

There is a saying that "The way you carry yourself will often determines how you are treated". Many great men and women understand the philosophy behind these words.The biblical Queen Esther made use of her personality and carriage to a great advantage, from biblical accounts she simply outshone many a dozen of maidens and stole the heart of the then King. Though common by birth, it was no hinderance to a woman of Queen Esther's mentality. She simply glided into the king's court and caused a stir.
How does this affect the Modern day woman? I see alot of ladies lose touch with their inner woman, the inner woman described by Maya Angelou's poem "Phenomenal Woman". Almost nude and vulgar fashion is the order of the day.I go through the pages of society magazines and see all manners of women,both young,old,fat and slim dorning themselves in disrespectable clothings all in the name of fashion.Where have we gone wrong and where did we lose it?
I remember my grand-mother telling me that,my peeping bra strap was a taboo.I wonder what she would say about exposed butt cracks and nipples straining to pop out from some off-shoulder dresses and tops or boob tubes as we call them.I am not against wanting to be your best when you step out into the social world but I frown at "Indescent exposure".
I was at Tejuoso market to get some cosmetics,when a lady dressed like she was going to a club breezed past me. She was beckoned by the "Okrika" totting Ibo traders who she blantantly ignored. Feeling insulted,the men retorted to trading insults with her and finally the "A" word was said. Feeling slighted,I responded by telling the traders that they were being mean and the response I got was "Na only "A****o" go dress like that". I shut my mouth and continued with my own purchasing.My conclusion was that, insecurities and self doubts have made many women resort to almost baring themselves to be noticed by men. In the fight to be noticed as the best of the pack,they have lost all the essence of womanhood,thereby devaluing themselves in the eyes of men as opposed to the attention and recognition that they seek.
Why do we women allow men who on a normal day,would tremble in their shoes just to say "Hello!" to us to commonize and disrespect us in the lowest way possible. Ladies! Where is your pride? I repeat; the way you carry and dress yourself will often determine how you are treated. In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a queen respects herself and inspires the same sentiments in others.By acting regally and confident of your self, you make yourself destined to be a queen, even without the visible crown. Quit the "Indescent exposures" it is what you are inside that really matters...let it shine!

The Crucible.

According to WIKIPEDIA, a crucible is a cup-shaped heat resistant container which is used in heating metals to a very high temperature of 500 to 1600 degree celcius or more. It can be made from platinium,nickel, zirconium or made from graphite with clay as a binder.A crucible is placed into a furnace and, after the melting, the liquid metal is taken out of the furnace and poured into a mold to solidify.During the whole process,the metal is refined to a purer state.

The metal gold,when it passes through this process becomes more valuable than it was in it's former state.The whole process of refining is basically to give or add more value.
In life, leaders were transformed in their very personal crucibles.An example of such leaders is the great Nelson Mandela of South Africa.Though locked up, isolated and humiliated as a prisoner on Robson Island, he never gave up his dreams of freedom rather the hardship metted on him only acted as a catalyst to an inner transformation within him that spurred him on to greater achievements.
I remember sitting with my father one calm evening some years ago.He was telling me about his past and how he used to be the last student in his class to pay his school fees and how he used to wash toilets to make extra bucks. His hardship demanded of him to think of alternative ways of making good money.He saved all he had to pay his way through a technical school and finally,he landed the job that made him who he is today. Washing toilets he says, is his crucible.This inglorious act that was turned down by others perpetuated him into reforming his life.To a lesser man it would spell defeat but to a stronger man, an avenue to propagate changes.This is what seperates leaders from ordinary men.

Our everday challenges should not make us cower in defeat.I prefer to call them challenges and not problems because, as challenges,it makes us want to tackle them without fear and see them as something possible to resolve but as problems,there is always a lingering fear of failure attached to it.To all my brothers and sisters out there, consider hard times as the crucible periods, it will only refine us to be better men.

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Special thanks to WIKIPEDIA for the use of definitions and pictures from their gallery.

I'm back.

What a rush! I've got adrenaline pumping fiercely in my veins,I'm happy to be back again.Almost ten days gone and I haven't had the chance to pen down a word or two. I had a problem with my PC.This little piece of miracle suddenly went into a spell,causing me great anxiety...believe me,it was just a little web configuration problem but this "Agbaya" couldn't handle it.Too much "eba" has deadened my brain cells but not to worry,we are just getting started in here. Stay glued.Matse out!

Passing dusk...

I see alot of people give up on life and sigh in resignation.Heads bowed forward, hands clenched together; the ultimate sign of hopelessness. I beckon to you with the age old adage that says,"No matter how long the night is,dawn must come." Why do we underestimate our abilities when we have not fully tapped into them yet? The wise saying of an old man I know is that, "The Law of Averages is always on the side of the positive thinker" We all, should try to accept the setbacks in life and forge ahead with determination,knowing that we can make it,despite all odds.I remember a while ago when I used to be laddened with depression.I never looked forward to my day,I actually dreded standing up from my bed.I felt I was ugly and dull and that no one wanted me.The cause of my depression was a multitude of silly things that may make no sense to you but all the same,I was down.My ever loving mother tried to cheer me up to no avail.I was wallowing in self pity and disgust.One lovely morning,I took the bull by the horn by telling myself that I am a wonderful human being and I kept chanting it to myself like a mantra on and on again.I went out that day and bought a sticker that said "I LOVE U" and pasted it on my bathroom mirror to remind me everyday that I love myself.That prooved to be the cure to my predicament.Take note,that I took the step to help myself.I choose to paint a brighter picture of me in my mind and the picture became a reality.We should not give ourselves limitations but have the belief that we can do all things.I shook myself and decided to start my healing process from the inside and then,the outside.I got searching for the hair styles that suited me best and the clothes that made me feel good about myself,you may not be able to afford new clothes but good personal hygiene also does it.I developed an interest in reading at large every and any book I could lay my hands on just to gain more knowledge and insight in general.Do you know that if you read a minimum of three books a week for one year,you would be as good as a Professor?...Yes! It's true.Your conversations dramatically changes and you get a boost in confidence knowing that you can hold your own anywhere.With this positive attitude,you start believing that you can tackle anything...(well,not necessarily everything) but the feeling is awesome and it transends into every aspect of your life making you a much better person who can face the world with a smile.Your situation may not be similar to mine but remember that after night,comes day...Always.

Bootilicious!

This "Booty Wahala" 'Na wa o!' I was in a taxi one sunny day when suddenly I spotted a girl with an extraordinary booty walking at the right hand side of the road.Obviously this sister knew what she had because she was swinging and rolling her hips with great delight. I being a woman couldn't handle the heat emanating from this sister,how much more the poor guys walking and driving along the road.One poor 'Okada' rider who was hungrily looking at this sister,ran into an orange seller and sent the oranges flying everywhere like a colour spectrum.The Orange seller didn't hesitate to seize the Okada rider and the battle of "Pay me my money!" began.

I couldn't help erupting with laughter and tears streaming down the sides of my eyes.The whole scenario played back in my memory in slow motion and it was very amusing.I continued laughing at intervals and to the unknowing onlooker,I may seem like a person with mental disorders but it was an event worth witnessing.A moral lesson to learn from this ordeal is that,while the booty gets the "Bobos" into trouble,the owner of the booty sashays away and only you,"Brother" will dance to the tunes you have created.To all the brothers out there,enjoy the sight but keep your eyes on the road. Matse out!

NB: Photography by Ndidi Dike

20-Something Wahala.

I was standing in front of my mirror,slowly scrutinizing my face.The frownlines were doing me no good at all,etched on my temple like a spider's web by the cruel fingers of mother nature. Humph! I sighed,secretly consoling myself while pondering that there is nothing "l'Oreal" botwax or the almighty botox couldn't handle. After all,"no be me be the first nor go be the last to wan use am." Oh,the dark circles around my eyes! "Something's gotta handle that too" I thought.
"Oh girl your biological clock is ticking,you will soon be thirty o!" came the whinny little voice inside my head."Abeg hold your own" I told the voice. "Am I blind? Do you have to use the age factor to creat an aged aura around me? Oya! Get behind me pecky,prickly Miss Conscience." "Well,I wouldn't tell my age if you don't" I said smiling into the mirror,challenging Miss Conscience.After all,the quick fix to cellulites and stretch marks on the butt is to wear a great pair of jeans and I am perfectly sculpted...who will see what lies beneath? "Abi no be so?"
Suddenly,"Sweet Mother...I no go forget you..." floated from my phone.The caller id was screaming "MUM." I mentally started preparing myself for the familiar pattern of conversation that was going to follow.Finally,the topic of the day landed "Gbosa!" "Did you hear that little Maureen got married last weekend? She is only twenty three years old...Oh what a lucky girl...nice timing...nice planning! Did you know that she got married to her childhood sweetheart?...Remember that tall,short,slim,fat,dark,light twenty,thirty something year old boy,that lived down the street..." It went on and on.
"Haba Mama,spare me naa!" Such tales only make me blue. "Maureen and Matse" start with a "M" but that is where the similarity ends.We don't sound the same,neither do we mean the same. "Matse?" My mama called at the other end of the line. "Why are you silent?" Silent? My brain screamed. I thought you were giving me the biography of "little Maureen."
"Em,Mum!" I said,"I need to rush down to the office.My boss called me to tell me that I needed to see to some important issues,I will be calling you soon Mum,I love you and bye."
"Ewo!" I sighed. "Some daughters do have them." I know you love me to death Mum and you want the best for me...I understand.Let's take it easy "Ma".You will carry your grandchild when the time is right (laughing).

why?

The familiar sms tone of my phone made me grumpily open my eyes."Who must this be in the wee hours of this morn?" I pondered.Scratching my eyes I picked up my phone to read this mind shattering message; "Our Papa is gone." "Tee!" I screamed."Tee's Papa is gone!" Hot tears came cascading down my eyes and my body shook uncontrollably.Four days earlier we lost our security guard to the dark,cold hands of death.He died from "MALARIA." "Malaria!" In this day and age that medical sciences have sky rocketed...people still die from malaria.Tee's Papa was no exemption from the death list,he died from Diabetes.Illnesses that could be easily controlled,yet claims the lives of many in this land.
Why do we allow these people die? What is our government doing to alleviate the sufferings of the people? Must being poor be a ticket to the grave yard?

Political Banga Soup.

The riotuous pot was shaking...the soup boiling fervently.The familiar aroma of Mama's banga soup beckoned unto me like the town crier's "Agogo".Who can withstand the active call of the divers ingredients of Mama's pot of banga soup,the "eastern Asa fish" straining amongst the " western Pomo" and "the northern beef" to be seen. The periwinkles of the South not being left out are comandeering the bottom part of the pot,claiming that domain as their territory with shouts of marginalization in the air.
Poor citizens of the banga soup! They fail to see that they together give great pride and integrity to this prized delicacy.Their different tongues,cultures and origins contribute to the uniqueness of the taste which is bound to change when you have one without the other.
A little "maggi patriotism" will not do the trick. It takes the expertise of Mama's deligent fingers in the mastery and art of banga soup preparation, to concoct the exquisite taste of this National soup,to the delight of the waiting masses who chroused in unison,"Prepare the Usi (starch)!"

Beauty with the Beast

In front of me,I see the ocean in her grandeur roaring with life and the voice of thunderous awe. Around me was poverty...deformed beggers with empty bowls and a great stench emanating from their unwashed bodies,singing gospel songs to the ocean watchers to earn a little for their daily bread.Hungry dogs playing in the sands with their hides stuck to their skeletons.The pungent smell of marijuana embracing me within her arms.Two hundred meters behind me,



a grand five star hotel,towering the skies with her majestic angles and within her the rich and famous wining,dinning and smoking their thick cigars amidst rich foods and the smell of exotic perfumes. A perfect compliment of beauty with the beast.

Isenyor

A truly happy face...A rare vision to find.In the lowest of places,true happiness can be found.I was sitted in a bus amidst the struggling masses and there I beheld this vision of innocence and serenity.She sat on her mothers laps giggling and smiling endlessly.I took a peek at her and then reverted my gaze.She kept on giggling and wispered something into her mother's ear.The mother erupted in laughter and spoke in a native tongue.I tried to resist but could not help but look into the young,dark face.She look straight into my eyes and broke into a wide grin.Instinctively,I thought of my camera phone,such a vision so true is hard to come by.I asked this little one,"Can I have a picture of you?" "Mama?" She said,with a questioning look on her face. I turned to her mother and asked "Madam,may I take a picture of your daughter? "Oh sure,go ahead" She gave me her permission.I didn't hesitate to grab my phone and click I went,excited beyond measure.I thanked the little one and her mother too."What is your name?" I asked. She said, "ISENYOR!"

An Ode to "J"

I call her "J" ,
She keeps me gay.
A five foot four inches of energy,
She rivals the bee in dexterity.


An Ivory skin gazelle,
With short croppped hair.
Everywhere,she turns heads,
With the "sure footed" way she treads.


An Enigma to some,a friend of mine.
She helps me stay on a straight line.
She leads me to a solution,
When I fall down in grief to a conclusion.


I ponder and remember,
What happened last december.
I was pregnant with worry,
But she made it not tarry.


I remember that dark night,
The stars refused their light.
"J" was the lone Match,
That shone light on the dark patch.


Oh fair and merry "J"
God bless your everyday.
As long as I breath and live,
My thanks to you I give.

African Woman.

The African Woman,

So graceful and strong.

Always by her man,

In the violent storm.

She toils from morn till twilight,

Always; A smile on her lips.

She shows her children the light,

While balancing them on her hips.

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Thanks to Essence Vibez for their beautiful picture.

I bid my time.

The past weekend was the Gubernatorial elections in my country.Although we had some uproars here and there and "Fire and brime stone" in Port Harcourt city,it was relatively Ok.I spent the whole weekend at home...didn't bother voting since I'm not interested in the crooked politics of this country.
Talking about crookedness! The slightest inch or square meter in this land of mine is corrupt.Who am I to grumble when even places of work are political grounds of their own.We've got the "Rivals" of each sections of the company,the "Followers" and we also have the "Prostitutes" who are willing to do anything as long as they have Naira notes falling into their pockets."Then where do you stand?" You may ask me.I am the "Observer",I watch all that is happening around me.I have nothing to say but to watch and conclude."Coward!" You may holler at me.But please understand...I bid my time.There is a time for everything.A time to sow and a time to reap.A time for "Corruption" and a time for "Revolution." "Like I said....I bid my time."

The 5 Laws of Gold.

Presently,I am pondering on these 5 Laws of Gold.I will write them down for your benefit;

1. Gold cometh gladly and in increasing quantity to any man who will put by not less than one-tenth of his earnings to create an estate for his future and that of his family.

2. Gold laboreth diligently and contentedly for the wise owner who finds for it profitable employment,multiplying even as the flocks of the field.

3. Gold clingeth to the protection of the cautious owner who invests it under the advice of men wise in it's handling.

4. Gold slippeth away from the man who invests it in businesses or purposes with which he is not familiar or which are not approved by those skilled in it's keep.

5. Gold flees the man who would force it to impossible earnings or who followeth the alluring advice of tricksters and schemers or who trusts it to his own inexperience and romantic desires in investment.


Surely,the grammer of these Laws does indicate to you that they were written centuries ago but I tell you,every single word of it is true and is still applicable to modern day life.Being the profligate that I am,I spend like money is going out of fashion but a little wise old book did make me come to realisation that I may never get the success I want if i am not prudent in my financial dealings.This book talks about the richest man in Babylon by the name Arkad who rose from the lowly state of a scribe,carving laws on tablets to the richest man in Babylon."How did he do this?" you may ask.He got tired of his pennilessness and decided to heed wise admonitions from a money lender named Algamish and this was,"A PART OF ALL I EARN IS MINE TO KEEP." This is easier said than done.From personal experience,the wants and needs of everyday life eats into our savings but with discipline and fierce determination this can be achieved.Where does the Laws of Gold come into play? It is one's ability to invest wisely one's savings to bear children and grandchildren and using them all wisely until you beacome "The Richest Man of Your Own Domain."

Sardines In a Tin.

On my way to work I decided to take the Estate Shuttle bus.I was in the mood to save money instead of blowing cash on taxis.I was sitting just behind the driver with two other passengers on the same sit and in came a huge woman with a huge butt too.Obviously,the sits behind us weren't taken but this woman wanted a sit on my row and in so doing,used her butt to shove me aside.I did see red and I retorted by saying; "Hey Lady! There's more room behind,you don't have to push me.The guy sitting next to me muttered something about how people lacked common sense.This Lady knew that the space beside me couldn't take her size but she was bent on sitting there."Haba Madam" I said,"Why are you shoving me to the side? The Naira notes you are paying aren't fatter or slimmer than mine,why do you have to use my slim stature as a reason to wriggle your big butt into this seat?" "Shut up" She said." Is your father the owner of this bus?" The occupants of the shuttle bus went into a frenzy.Curses and insults were being hurled from one end of the bus to the other.It was a free for all in the bus and the driver not wanting to be left out ensued in a word combact with the passenger sitting beside him.He stopped the bus and went into a full fledged battle with his passengers and we had to beg him to take us to our destination.This is the typical Nigerian work day episode...especially in a place like Lagos.Thanks to God we alighted at the next bus stop without ramming the bus into a car. At the next bus stop I took another bus,this bus was much better at least we didn't have a mad circus in it but we were all cramped in like sardines in a tin. Sweat smells and fish stench over powered my subtle perfume.I just couldn't wait to get to my stop.This is what the poor masses in Lagos deal with on a daily basis and then when you get to work,you get dragon bosses breathing down your neck.Well, "No shaking...We will survive".

Beginning of the road...

I just tot of havin a blog...at least to document my everyday experiences which I believe will be wierdly interesting..I am Matse in my mid-twenties and far away in Africa.I come from a large family with six brothers and three sisters..."Wow! That many?" You may say.Yes,I am blessed and I know.
I work with a Luxury company in Lagos, Nigeria.We deal on home entertainment systems and I have Good colleagues (rolling my eyes).Some times they make feel a sledge hammer would be a good toy...you know...for practicing.Today is a new day and as usual,I am all alone in the office waiting for the others to arrive...Shit! The ignormity of being the youngest staff in the office.I get to do all the early resumings and stuff...silently seathing inside and wishing for when I'll be up the ladder and have someone as my foot-stool.Having someone to boss around is sure cool,you can let out your anger on this poor scape goat...for now,I am that goat but i can handle it as long as the Law of Averages will even out things for me...I'm optimistic.
As for my love life,I sent him packing (tongue in cheek) or was it the other way round? The guy was silently draining me emotionally and I couldn't take it no more.I told him it was over but could not stop myself from punching his number on my cell phone,meanwhile hiding my caller identity so that he wouldn't recorgnise my number.Call me fickle-hearted but I'm only human and sometimes I break."Good riddance to bad rubbish" A bold babe will say but the rubbish does seem appealing especially when lonliness comes knocking at the door.Enough for today,I'll tell you more on the morrow.